As I sit here today my brain is being pulled into far too many different directions. Today is my only day off next week with my schedule changing into my more permanent one tomorrow. Tomorrow I begin my job as I was hired to do. After 9 weeks of training and doing work in other areas, I'll finally be taking calls to the specific department and customers that I'm supposed to do. I won't lie to say that I'm not a little nervous because I am, but I often catch myself and just remind myself that to take it one call at a time and that they're calling me for help, not vise versa. Make them work on your time and just do your best. It'll be ok. Now tell myself that tomorrow when I'm alone on the floor because my team is not scheduled over the weekend, but that's another story :)
Last night we had our first band practice after recording the album and it was a nice affirmation that we're all still on board and that even though I've been listening to these songs for the past few weeks track by track they still sound fresh and are fun to play. Things are slowly falling into place regarding this whole ordeal and I'm pretty excited about it. We've got our act together quite a bit better than last time and everything is coming together seemingly all at once, which is really nice. Its still a little bit nerve wracking to wonder if people are going to like our new songs or not, but also the excitement of getting the album done and getting to share it with other people. It baffles me that we're doing this again and recording yet another full length album of entirely new material. Zounds!
We're looking at having the songs mixed at Blue Chair studios, where we recorded our last EP, in a week so that'll be done. After that we're looking into getting the songs mastered out in TN, but we're not sure about it. It mostly comes down to $. Horrible horrible $. I for one am very excited about some of the extra stuff coming on this cd. Not only are there all new songs, a lot of which mean a great deal to me, but we've also got some fantastical guest stars on the cd as well. Mike is making a cameo as always, and we got Garrett Hunter back to record some things specifically for the album unlike the sample we used last time. I'm trying to get my friend Wesley of belair fame to hop on but it sadly doesn't look like its going to happen at this point. What I'm really really excited about however, is that I'm currently working with my good friend Ryan White of Birds of New York (formerly of Resident Hero) to sing some backing vocals on the album. Talk about a dream here.
I mentioned that these songs mean a great deal to me and they do just as all T3 songs have in some form or other. Mostly that they're something I took the time to dribble out from my brain and had talented people make them sound good. Sometimes they have a little bit of my personal life stuffed into them as well. More than half of the T3 songs of the past have dual meanings that really I don't talk about nor are very noticeable unless you know me really well or can figure it out. Like some kind of puzzle. There are less than subtle references to a lot more things in my life in these new songs like I've never dared to put them in before. And they're not the obvious ones either *cough like like letters cough* No, nearly every song on this new album has background in something that has effected me over the last two or so years. They're all still goofy and all have goofy themes and are about something silly. However, at the same time a lot of them have roots in something profound to me as well. Maybe one day I'll divulge those to people, but probably not because then it just makes this music depressing and I don't want that. I just want them to stay fun for everyone :)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Is It Ok To Leave The Past Behind?
It seems quite often that the music of a good friend of mine seems to echo similar struggles in my life that seems to ask the questions for me while I ponder a response. I've been going back and listening a lot to the song 'Vendetta White' by my friend's band Birds of New York and its making me draw a few similar conclusions in life.
According to Ryan, the song is his reaction to the downfall of Resident Hero with all the feelings during the aftermath of being hurt, angry, and moving on. As the song progresses its seems to reflect back on the series of emotions that he went through and the feelings of hope and finally leaving it all behind and looking forward. Lines such as: "I was a battle cry, the dark of black
But the older that I get the less I want it back" and "Is it okay to leave the past behind?
Keep moving forward with your eyes up to the sky" seem to resonate most.
Lately I've done a lot of reflecting on the past. Moments I haven't thought about in a long while that have had profound effects on my life. Moments that I wonder if I've just forgotten about, gotten over, buried away so deep that I've shut them out, I don't know. Not all bad things, just things that don't seem to register to me as real memories anymore, just that they did in fact happen and I don't seem to notice anymore. The whole path of where I've been with this band, when my folks divorced over ten years ago, and the more telling and recent struggles I've had within the last year. Its just a wonder how my brain works sometimes. I know for a fact that when I'm deeply troubled about things I immediately let my mind wander to something else to handle the shock of things, but eventually take it a piece at a time. Other times I just don't think about them at all, letting them sink deep....somewhere. I'm not really sure where. Where do they go? And more importantly will they ever come back up? Or do they go there to die?
The latter is obviously not the case as some things in life that I bury down deep have scarred so badly on the way down that they still are alive and kicking down there somewhere, but the concept of not thinking about them makes the situation all the more strange if and when I do reflect back on them. The prominent players that were once a big deal, be they family, friends, or loved ones tend to become background characters or strangers in general. They take on different roles that I don't quite recognize anymore sadly. And it is sad to think about. I've had best friends in years past that I don't see, keep contact with, nor think about anymore when those days long ago I would spend so much time hanging out with them. Don't even get me started on relationships because those are sadder as is.
The point I'm trying to make here is that question in the title if not a little more, "when is it ok to leave the past behind?" and "when are you able to?" I guess now a days I go from the phrasing that Time is Nothing and everything will come full circle and make right one day to Time Is Everything and that every key moment and key person in your life has their moment or moments then their part is done, like in a play. Once the curtain is drawn down they take their bow and head off stage, never to return. Its sad how life works out that way. Sadder that if you push it down deep enough that you don't even seem to care, even though there is no denying that you are denying and that you do care. So very much.
According to Ryan, the song is his reaction to the downfall of Resident Hero with all the feelings during the aftermath of being hurt, angry, and moving on. As the song progresses its seems to reflect back on the series of emotions that he went through and the feelings of hope and finally leaving it all behind and looking forward. Lines such as: "I was a battle cry, the dark of black
But the older that I get the less I want it back" and "Is it okay to leave the past behind?
Keep moving forward with your eyes up to the sky" seem to resonate most.
Lately I've done a lot of reflecting on the past. Moments I haven't thought about in a long while that have had profound effects on my life. Moments that I wonder if I've just forgotten about, gotten over, buried away so deep that I've shut them out, I don't know. Not all bad things, just things that don't seem to register to me as real memories anymore, just that they did in fact happen and I don't seem to notice anymore. The whole path of where I've been with this band, when my folks divorced over ten years ago, and the more telling and recent struggles I've had within the last year. Its just a wonder how my brain works sometimes. I know for a fact that when I'm deeply troubled about things I immediately let my mind wander to something else to handle the shock of things, but eventually take it a piece at a time. Other times I just don't think about them at all, letting them sink deep....somewhere. I'm not really sure where. Where do they go? And more importantly will they ever come back up? Or do they go there to die?
The latter is obviously not the case as some things in life that I bury down deep have scarred so badly on the way down that they still are alive and kicking down there somewhere, but the concept of not thinking about them makes the situation all the more strange if and when I do reflect back on them. The prominent players that were once a big deal, be they family, friends, or loved ones tend to become background characters or strangers in general. They take on different roles that I don't quite recognize anymore sadly. And it is sad to think about. I've had best friends in years past that I don't see, keep contact with, nor think about anymore when those days long ago I would spend so much time hanging out with them. Don't even get me started on relationships because those are sadder as is.
The point I'm trying to make here is that question in the title if not a little more, "when is it ok to leave the past behind?" and "when are you able to?" I guess now a days I go from the phrasing that Time is Nothing and everything will come full circle and make right one day to Time Is Everything and that every key moment and key person in your life has their moment or moments then their part is done, like in a play. Once the curtain is drawn down they take their bow and head off stage, never to return. Its sad how life works out that way. Sadder that if you push it down deep enough that you don't even seem to care, even though there is no denying that you are denying and that you do care. So very much.
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