Thursday, June 9, 2011

Like Like Letters

Back when we first met, Every day was such a treat
Everyday and adventure for you and me
But now those days are long gone, And now so are you
I think of the time I have now to push on through
So I leave you this note, Now that we are done
To tell you the things I should have all along

I don’t like your haircut, No I never did
I only said it to you with a smile and a kid
When your fluffy cat died, I held you so tight
So you couldn’t see the smile that I ran over him last night
That time we met your mother, at the store for the wealthy
To be nice I said she looks healthy but she’s just fat

These things I should have told you, But I never got the chance
And now that you’re gone, I should mention you’re a bitch

You take pride in your beauty, for it you paid cash
It’s too bad you never took care of your mustache
The razor you left in the shower, always covered in strange hair
I guess I should tell you it came from my down there
You think you’re very proper oh so clever and so smart
Too bad that in public everyone can still hear your farts

These things I should have told you, But I guess I never did
Its ok to laugh now, cuz those pants make you look fat
And you’ve got a double chin, yup a muffin top too
And your body’s lumpy ewww…

Do you remember flowers? Last Valentine’s Day
I dropped them in the toilet, that’s why they smelled that way
Each time I’d use the bathroom, Id never wash my hands
That’s why I was so eager to rub your shoulders at demand
Last week when you were sick, I told you I heard nothing
As you crapped so loudly of course I totally did

These things I should have told you, but I guess I forgot
Its ok to say it now, cuz I like your sister more
Cuz she’s prettier than you, and she’s way nicer too
And you’re just a big ole fool

Times we go out to eat, I’d forget my wallet
I do it on purpose cuz I think you should have to pay
If you check the bathroom we don’t own brown towels
I’ll just say that you can figure that one out
Each time I’d call to tell you that I had to work late
It was not true I just didn’t want to come home to you

These things I should have told you, but I guess I never did
It’s ok to move on now, cuz now no one likes you.

And no one ever will, I was the best you ever had
And the best you ever will

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