I've had the biggest amount of writers block for this blog as of late. There have been so many topics that I wanted to write about, but just never did so for one reason or another. I think that's a pretty universal feeling at the moment in general. I'm not sure if its fatigue or frustration or whatever, but I haven't felt like completing hardly anything in the last month or so. There's a general feeling that comes around when August rolls around, at least in the last few months anyway.
In the past its been the end of summer and the start of school, or in college the end of school and the beginning of my summer/fall run. Since I'm out of school now it seems like the seasons and months are just going to blend together in a big wad of some sorts. My eight weeks of training at HP are almost up and we'll be hitting the floor taking live calls in a few weeks. That both exciting and terrifying to say the least. There are days where I think "I've got this" and others where I sit and wonder just what in the hell I'm doing there. Whatever. In the meantime I'm building up my savings slowly and its giving me something to do so I can't complain.
On the side I'm creating a variety of video projects that I'm not exactly being hired for, but I'm still doing so that can work towards my own portfolio. Things from documentaries to dvds to music videos and promotional pieces. Its exciting to self teach myself a lot of this stuff because the technology is available like never before and pretty affordable if you know what to do look for as well. I was told the other day that a friend of mine is going to help sell me a really professional HD camera with a lighting kit and tripod for relatively cheap in the next few months and I can't wait to get my hands on it. Hopefully, just hopefully I can find a destination either within HP to move into so I can work on video or find a job elsewhere in the near future to be able to put these skills to use. I enjoy my job don't get me wrong, but there is still that feeling of wasting my time a little or of not completely feeling fulfilled in what I'm doing. Working on film and projects of the sort do that, which is probably why I went to school for it. I just need an outlet. But of course I also need money so that's where I'm at for now.
My birthday is this Saturday and just like the past ten years or so I don't really care all that much. I get the same questions I do every year of "what do you want for your birthday" or "what would you like to do". Honestly, its just like any normal day for me really. Sure, internally I do a lot of thinking and reflecting on that day, but for all intensive purposes I don't really separate it as a special day anymore. I'm usually in school or work or some other thing that day anyway and its just a normal day. I don't really like doing anything on those days either. Maybe it feels extra weird this year because last year I kept making the comparison of "the last time I'll do this on my own" or whatever. It was fully formed in my head that this week (today through Saturday) was going to be the birthday spectacular week with another special day in mid week. Beginning and ending with birthday and all sorts of excitement in between. Well that's not really the case and I don't really care anymore, but the thought does pop up from time to time. Oh well.
Now the thing I'm excited about is coming next week, but I'll save the bulk of that for another blog. We're going to record a new full length album and that's always an exhausting, stressful, yet rewarding, and really fun undertaking. Its been a long month and I think I'm ready for it to be done already. It just seems strange to me how streamlined this year has gone and how quickly it has passed on. Before I know it the year will be over and 2012 will be upon us. Strange how time works huh?
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