Surely You've Already Heard This One

I feel like this blog has turned into a cycle of the same kinds of posts in here as of well... forever. It started out as an assignment for a class, then no joke I wanted it to be just a random thoughts kind of blog on various topics or things. I never wanted to turn it into my inner thoughts or journal sort of deal yet that happened. Then it was a no drama blog, then stuff happened. And finally it turned into a here's my progress of getting back on track sort of blog. Odd.

Is there anything new to say anymore? Not here anyway. There are always stories to tell, but I don't really think about this blog anymore, even though I choose to on occasion. But what is there to say really? What adventures am I having these days? Not much that I can tell really. Well there are, but they're mostly fabricated. I've done a lot of video work in the past few months so thats good. Now that I finally have all the equipment I need I've really been just going down the checklist of videos I've been meaning to work on for the last five or so years. Work is an open and shut case and all the good stories are written down for another day and posted on another blog. I can't really put it here for obvious reasons, but its still an adventure.

What else hmm... music comes and goes, exercise comes and goes and everything in between. I dunno. It's sort of a middle ground calm in the storm. A whats next? I tap my fingers on my desk and furl my brow and think think think. Not so much what do I need to do next, but what do I WANT to do next. The world is open and I can do what I want, so what is next? An apartment or house is the next little step, but that doesn't determine destiny or anything. Do I keep the job I have now for longer? Or shoot for higher ground? Do I stick around the place I call home or do I venture forth and try my hand in some other town and start over?

I dunno... I've never really liked to start over. I've had to do it far too many times in my life and very few times has it been a pleasant experience, but then again what is? Life is a series of the good and the bad and its just a matter of figuring out what works and how life works and well, I've found what works for me and that equals being happy. Happy with what I have, happy with what I've accomplished, and happy with what I know I'm capable of. I've gotta work in the motivation and not being complacent department, but for the moment I sit and ponder and ask myself what's next and hopefully not be writing this same thing out a few months from now.

Craaazy dream.

So last night I drempt I was in some future military operation checking out this

space station/warehouse thingy for zombies. While crawling in some pipes I found this

girl and I said "hey don't bit me." She said, "don't shoot me I'm not a zombie." "Thats

what a zombie would say and I don't believe you". "Zombies can't talk, so thats not what a

zombie would say." ""Good point. Lets get you out of here". And we headed out of the tunnel

but not the way I came in because everyone else would probably shoot her. We came out of the tunnel in the middle of a hotel and there was a Halloween party going on. This really big dude with a gun walked up to us but didn't say anything. She told me he was her bodyguard. "That's neat, for what?" "You know, the zombies." And suddenly everyone in the party was running screaming because zombies were eating everybody.

We ran off to hide and went into a hotel room and locked the door. Her bodyguard went outside to keep watch and said he'd stay there. After I went to the bathroom I looked out the keyhole and he wasn't there anymore, so I stuck my head out and 3 zombies in Halloween costumes tried to get in. I pushed them all out and shut the door again and decided the bodyguard had either gotten eaten or left us. Somebody knocked on the door but when I looked through the whole I saw it was a hooker. I said no thanks,

then looked again and it was a zombie hooker. Double no thanks.

Then I woke up. What a crazzzzzy dream.

In This Commotion

Springtime is here and change is in the air it seems. Over the last few months I’ve been working on pushing myself to bigger and better things or at very least more challenging ones. At work I’ve really been pushing myself to go further than I have in the past. It’s not so much a skate by the day sort of thing anymore as much as it’s a team effort sort of feeling. Really with where I’m at now it really is. If one person doesn’t do their job correctly then the rest of us suffer and while that’s a bit more pressure, I think I like it that way. I’m surprised to hear myself say that I’m preferring a team effort over an every man for himself sort of thing. Lately that’s what I’ve felt like I’m doing or wanting anyway. Then again, most of my life I’ve been that way in varied places. I really enjoy being by myself for long periods of time where I feel I can express myself to the fullest extent and not be nervous or scared to try this or that or accomplish whatever or sing louder or dance in front of the mirror in a weirder way or whatever the occasion may be. Especially in the last couple of years it’s been more of a if you want something done right do it yourself kind of attitude so it’s refreshing to see that I’m vaguely warming up to including other people a little bit.

Back to pushing myself tho, I find it even better if the pushing I’m doing is due to a personal project that I’ve set a partially unrealistic deadline for. Case in point: a music video for our song D.T.A. Over the last few months I’ve been acquiring real professional equipment and it just hit me not too long ago that I need something to do with it, so why not do what I always do when I need to branch out and test my skills? It seems like it’s always worked to get me there in the past anyway. So last night we all gathered in front of my green screen and shot a little video that was a lot of fun. It was a goofy little time and there was lots of fun to be had. Pulling up the footage today I see a lot of good stuff, but realizing that it’s going to be a nightmare putting it all together in the short amount of time I’ve given myself for it and that’s ok. It’s going to push me to overcome obstacles and learn new techniques and things I need to know anyway. I’ve already learned no less than ten new things about Adobe Premiere in the last 24 hours that I never know in the 10+ years I’ve been working with this program and I’m just getting started! Maybe it really will be time to jump back into attempting to get a job in my field before too long, who knows.