Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 In Music

Just like last year, here are the albums I listened to this year and some tiny blurbs about them. Both local bands and national acts alike. Huzzah!. These are just my opinions and range from thought out reviews to just meh whatever I was thinking about, but whatevs.

Foo Fighters - Wasting Light

Ok, I’ll admit that while I’m a fan of Foo Fighters, I’m not that big of a fan. I love the guys, I love the music, but just never seemed to really get into them. I’ve never listened to an album of theirs all the way through before this one and I’m sure that I’m really missing out. That being said I can’t really compare it to any of their other songs other than the singular songs that I’ve listened to. However, this album is really good. Right from the start it gets me hooked in and doesn’t let go until about 4 or 5 songs in then I start losing interest a little. Maybe I’m just ADD or something, but when I stop zoning out for a few tracks it gets me back towards the end of the album, but it’s just not one I can listen to from start to finish unless I’m doing something else and this is background music. Not the best review, but when it’s a cd I can’t seem to do that with, it usually is just one that doesn’t connect to me very well. I still love the songs and sing along, it’s just not my first choice when I reach for something to listen to.

Panic At The Disco - Vices And Virtues

I’ll be honest to say I loved their first album, was pretty ok with the 2nd one, but this is by far the best they’ve had yet. It’s a nice mix of the high energy of the first album, with the strong songwriting of the 2nd, gone are those ridiculous song titles and hey I’m giving you illusive poetry and images that you think are deep but are just random crap on paper. It’s just straight forward power pop-rock. Well it’s hard to add the word rock into that, because it’s not at all. But it is a good time to dance around to and that’s what I like. It also hit at the right place at the right time mirroring a lot of things I was thinking about when it came out so it’s got that connection kind of deal going on. Maybe that makes me a scene-kid whiney baby but I don’t care. It’s fun and that’s what I care about.

Cobra Starship - Night Shades

Summer of 2010 I saw these guys and was greatly impressed to hear tracks from their previous album live and how much better they were than on the album. I was disappointed when it came out to find they were moving in such a club sounding way and shying away from the pop-punk sound they had before and even the electro-pop sound of their 2nd album, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it all sounded great live and in a venue so I was able to return to it with a better look. This was not the case with their 4th studio album Night Shades. The fact I hadn’t heard this album was coming out until a few days before the release date might have something to do with it. When I popped it into my cd player I came to discover that this album is essentially a club mix that sounds like one progressive evening out on the town. Eh…. I know that’s what’s popular at the moment and what is big, but I don’t really like it all that much. I pretty much walked away from the cd after that and came back a little later. After a few listens, the first half of the cd has started to grow on me, but it’s still just hard to get into for me. It’s not bad per say and I still like Cobra Starship, but this one just wasn’t for me. Maybe if I was a club kinda guy and heard it there I would, but not in my car anyway.

Fair to Midland - Arrows And Anchors

I’ll just start off by saying this is my pick of the year right here. I first heard about FTM from Mike back in 07 and have been attempting to see them live ever since. Every time they’ve either cancelled or I physically could not get to the show. I finally had a chance a week ago and I was not disappointed. It’s hard to explain exactly how they are. They’re not a metal band but they can be pretty heavy rock from time to time. It’s a very straight forward rock band that’s heavy on the guitar, complex on the bass and keys, very driving drums, and the vocals tie it all together. Darroh the vocalist has by far the widest range of anybody I’ve ever heard. He can go quite high in falsetto and bring it immediately down to an unearthly growl with ease. The lyrics are just as on their first album, nonsensical poetry of sorts. This album is much much heavier than their last, but it mellows out somewhere in the middle and settles in a hard rock groove that both metal fans and alt/prog rock fans can enjoy. What is alt/prog rock anyway? It has been lodged in my cd player nearly unchallenged since its release in August and I’m pretty sure it’s going to stay that way for some time to come.

Birds of New York

Not really an album, but a collection of songs that would have been an album. Birds are the side/was the main project of former front man of Resident Hero: Ryan White. He’s been a good friend of mine for a couple of years now and it’s always a treat to hear the new things that he’s been working on since RH’s demise. If I’m to understand correctly, he was working on releasing a full album with Birds at some point, possibly with newer material, possibly with the song by song releases that he had been doing all year long. Either way, 2011 saw at least five new songs from his catalogue (maybe less, I don’t remember when they were exactly released) that showed a lot of growth from the musical veteran. I first got my glimpse of Birds in the middle of last year with Incandescent World, I Hope You Understand, a re-tooled version of Happy Without Me, and finally a full band version of Give Me A Reason. At that point after a year or so of absence from RH I was just starving for new tunes. They were much more gentle an vulnerable, showcasing a bit more heartache without the punch. This year gave way to Books on Tape, Dreaming With The Lights On, Heart Shivers, Vendetta White, and Again Tomorrow. The first two seemed to continue the pacing of last year’s songs while upping the beat a bit, but there is a definite change starting with Heart Shivers. In Mr. White’s words: needs more rock. And that they did. Heart Shivesr, Vendetta White, and Again Tomorrow seem very reminiscent of later Resident Hero songs. They pack a punch are very honest and open and have a definite depth to them thanks to the key parts scattered throughout. Before Ryan decided to call it quits with Birds a little earlier this year it seemed like we were going to have a RH part 2 on our hands which is sad to see it go, but then again its giving rise to an actual RH part 2 called Okepi Revival. Now, I’m not sure what that means as of yet other than old RH songs are going to return with new material, but does this mean the Birds songs are gone too? Only time will tell. The only other thing to say here is that had Birds continued and if these were the songs on the album, it would have made

Belair – Move

The second effort of belair is a similar EP that while shorter than their debut album, is no less of an impact of sound quality. Belair is a local band from Magnolia and some friends of mine. I was introduced to them by Derek late last year and was highly impressed by their live shows and high energy. It was a nice breath of fresh air to a lot of other bands I’ve seen locally as of late. While there is signs of growth from the first album to this one lyrically and by tone, it does feel a bit of a continuation from the first album, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The first 3 tracks a pretty high energy and have a good solid rock sound coupled with a strong vocal presence that seems to be more under control than on the first album. The vocals on the first album were fantastic and had a definite range to them, but after seeing them live and even talking to Wesley on a few occasions, they seem to be at the edge of his range and occasionally have a hard time hitting them completely. I’ve never heard it sound bad or anything, but they just seem safer this time around. On the flip side, by keeping them in a more controlled range it enables them to be much stronger it seems as the vocals are very dominant all throughout this EP. Very commanding. As usual the music speaks for itself and while a short collection, Move is a fun little cd to jump around to which I think was the point.

This Holy House - Love And Hate In The War Times

Another friend of mine from a ways back, This Holy House is the latest endeavor by singer Elliot Cotton. I’ve heard nearly every one of his musical projects from the past few years and the rotation of musicians he’s worked with. This time around however it seems that the addition of the Velek brothers has made a definite fit that works. I had seen them live on a few occasions so what I expected to find was a very loud and very pyscadellic guitar swelling bunch of music from start to finish. I was pleasantly surprised to see a very vast amount of depth on this album. Right from the start you hear banjos and mandolins to round out the first track. The album moves at such a pace that works very well. There was no recording some songs and just throwing them together here. It’s very apparent that a lot of thought went into the album order and exactly what each world in every song should contain. While a couple of these songs have been passed from band to band, they seem to fit in here just like they were written specifically for this album. There is a general feel and tone of the album and while some styles vary from song to song, they all seem to have a unifying sense to them that ties it all together. If Elliot’s thrashing about live isn’t quite your thing, I don’t know why it wouldn’t because it’s a ton of fun J, then perhaps the album is more your pace to really get the feeling behind each and every track. And hey, really anybody should check it out I really recommend it.

Family Force 5 – III/III EP

I’ve been a fan of Family Force 5 for a few years now and I’m starting to change my opinion about who I think has the best live show ever. The more I see them the more I’m pointing in FF5’s direction. The same really can’t be said about their new album however. Earlier this year they released the III EP that has 3 tracks off of their full length, much like they did when they released Dance or Die. At first I didn’t like either of the 3 tracks, but once I heard them live I got hooked on them. I didn’t seem to have the same result after I saw them live a second time this year in Little Rock after they had released the full length album. Sure some of the tracks had more life to them and I was able to enjoy them more, but something in their sound has changed to a point that it’s not bad, just not what I want to listen to currently. Their first album was all about guitars and a little synth, the second album was all dance synth guitar, and now it feels like nearly all club music to a point. There’s nothing wrong with that, except that I don’t expect that kind of thing from a really energetic punk type dance band I dunno. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few highlights on the album that are a lot of fun, but other tracks seem to just play out without anything special in particular. I find myself skipping around a lot on this cd even after listening to it for a month or so. It’s not bad, just not the first album of theirs that I’ll grab to listen to if I have a choice.

LMFAO - Sorry For Party Rocking

I can’t not like these guys, I really can’t. Their new album is essentially a carbon copy of their previous endeavor and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s more of what’s fun. It is sort of club music, but done in a silly and fun way. It’s more like guilty pleasure music that I really enjoy dancing around to while I’m driving or when nobody else is home. Or even things I like to repeat when I feel like being goofy with friends. However, the downside to this is that if you’re not a huge fan of their first album you won’t be with this one either. Just like their other cd I’ll listen to 2 or 3 tracks then shelf it. Kind of like getting the wiggles out of my system.

Preston Pugmire - ST

Preston is a man I met back in college way back in 2006. I’ve followed his musical endeavors from a few different bands, each time citing a different genre. Each time it’s been my new favorite local act to follow however as he’s just full of energy and a masterful front man. His voice is crystal clear and ranges from mid to high tones with surprisingly little effort. This album is his first foray into the world of solo musicianship. He’s been performing by himself for a long while, but this is his first real studio effort. You wouldn’t know that however by listening to it. You see preston’s setup is a sort of one man band style. He uses looping effects from his pedal board to create on the spot backing tracks that range from drums, guitar riffs, and his own backing vocals. It’s really interesting to watch him create a track from scratch live and have it play out right in front of you from one man. Of course you’re not getting that from the album, you just get the music itself, but that’s ok. The music speaks for itself here in a very earnest and open manner. It’s a laid back coffeshop styled music that has a lot of layers in it. Some tracks are slow and pretty, others are more upbeat and fun, but overall it’s a great listen and something you can really zone out to either in the car or while hanging out at home.

Patrick Stump - Truant Wave

Patrick Stump impressed me a long time ago with the insane range of his voice and how intense it can be at times. Marked with the combination of upbeat pop-punk style music made for why I enjoyed to an extent Fall Out Boy. However, now that he’s doing his own this we get to see his real roots of soul, r&b, and a lot of funk. His solo effort EP is just a sampling of his full album that came out later in the year that I have yet to listen to, but if this is any indication of what’s to come I’m really looking forward to it. There is the same old Patrick vocal style that soars and is clear everywhere on it, but you won’t find any real heavy guitar or fall out boy-esce anything here. Like I said, it’s really reminiscent of a funk jive party with a lot of upbeat r&b style hooks and vocal styles. It’s definitely worth a listen and a lot of fun even if it’s only an EP with a few tracks on it.

Sick Puppies - Polar Opposite

I think this was a mini EP that was sold exclusively at Wal-Mart for a time. It’s nothing new really, just acoustic renditions of songs mostly from 2009’s TriPolar with a song or two from Dressed Up As Life mixed in. The neat thing is that they aren’t just straight acoustic versions, but rather are backed up by a string quartet on various songs. It’s interesting to hear these songs on a much more stripped down level to get a deeper meaning from them, but it’s pretty much not something you’re probably going to listen to very often even if you’re a big fan of the Sick Puppies.

The Aquabats - Hi Five Soup

I’ve been a fan of the Aquabats for a couple of years now and they’ve been a pretty significant inspiration when it comes to me writing T3 material. They’re just goofy and they know it and don’t care. From what I understand they parted ways with their record label a few years back and have been sitting on this album until they were able to release it with the backing they needed. It kind of hard to pin down exactly what genre the Aquabats are as their sound seems to progressively change with each album, but lately they’ve learned more towards a pop synth sound wither fewer and fewer ties to their ska roots they began with over a decade ago. This album is sort of a mash up of their last album with a touch of what music has evolved into these days I suppose. There is a lot of auto-tune on this album. But from what I can tell it’s used to mock people who use it as much as they do. The track BFF springs to mind for example as the auto tuning goes completely out of control by the end of the song, but that makes it even funnier to me. I dunno, there’s not much to say about this album other than its more of the same Aquabats. Its fun, it’s danceable, and it’s friendly. What more is there anyway?

Red -Until We Have Faces

I got this album earlier this year and honestly forgot about it until recently. I like Red and their sound and even though this honestly feels like a carbon copy of both of their previous albums, it doesn’t necessarily feel like a bad thing. It feels much like Chevelle in that sense that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into when you pick up their new album. You’re still going to get some pretty heavy guitar and driving vocals coupled with that undertone of strings that steal the show on a lot of these songs that gives it almost a new gothic sort of feel like the first evanescence album did. Not best album ever, and a little forgettable, but not bad either.

New Politics – ST

Now I discovered these guys at the end of last year, but it wasn’t until earlier this year that I picked up their self titled debut album. Sure it came out last year, but I was starting to see them on MTV2 a lot in the early months of the year. It’s a very simple formula of drums, guitar, backing/leading vocals, and the actual lead vocalist. They do a sort of vocal trade off, usually for rap style verses and very a very melodic chorus. Sure there is a lot of political undertones for this cd, but again it’s pretty high energy and funky. Unfortunately it’s a genre that I personally get a little tired of after about the mid-point of the cd since their isn’t too much of a variety in style, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t really enjoy it when I first pop it in.

The Throbbing Testicles – Don’t Just Stand There

Yes I put my own cd on this list, but that’s because well it did come out this year and it was a big part of 2011. I’ll save the in-deptness for another blog that I’m thinking about, but in essence this feels like our biggest step forward yet, musically anyway. I’ve taken this cd in a listen in two forms: with and without the skits. Without the skits the album seems to flow very well together and it sounds better than anything we’ve done before. I’m still surprised to hear how good the quality is when we recorded it ourselves just like all of our other albums. The final version with all the skits is hit or miss with me to be honest. A few of them seem like they were put there just to be there and don’t flow as well as on our debut album. Also a few drown on kind of long. Maybe it’s because I’ve been right there in the middle of it all from the start and I’ve forgotten, but that’s how I feel on them anyway. I just feel like I could have done better. That’s not to say they’re bad, because it still has the same effect on everyone I’ve had listen to the album to and that’s them laughing, but I just feel that bar could have been higher. Again however, that’s just me wanting it to be perfect. Long story short, I’ve been told by many that with this album it sounds like we’ve been maturing and evolving and coming into our own. Something I was hoping people would think after listening to older material. To quote my favorite quote of the album regarding that: “those are not the testicles I remember”

Dead Letter Circus – This Is Warning

I about overlooked these gentlemen from Australia earlier this month. They were the main supporting act for Fair to Midland when they came to town and I just assumed that they were some metal band. I’m glad I decided to give them a shot because they’re a lot of fun. It’s a very driving near techno/rave/rock experience to listen to them. All the tracks on the album have a very simple beat to them that repeats but it’s all very high intensity and makes you want to dance around right from the start. There’s not a lot of crescendo here, just right to the good stuff and that’s honestly what I really like in a lot of albums. Its good rock, has a great beat, and the vocals are all over the place that are just as high energy as the rest. I’m sure I’m going to be listening to this one for a good while now.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

And I Can Try Again, Tomorrow

I guess I’m a creature of habit as I seem to make little points of origin in my life and occasionally like to reflect back to see how far I’ve come/grown/retracted/improved or what have you. Today I guess is one of those days.

It’s been a year now since I’ve had to start over again and really I don’t have all the answers, I doubt anybody ever does in life, but it sure feels like sometimes you have more than others or at least you should. Before then I felt like everything was where it was supposed to be, even though I had no real clue how the real world beyond school worked it didn’t matter much to me. Those have been hard lessons all in their own that I had to learn since then, but it’s not all that complicated either.

No, really a lot of progress has been made I suppose in some areas, not so much in others. I look back at myself a year ago and where I had absolutely no clue where to go from there and had only very very short term plans to make it week by week and occasionally day by day or hour by hour. The time for now is stretched to month by month or handful of months so that’s improvement anyway.

I’m stable physically, well when I don’t make myself sick from not eating but that’s always happening from stress for years and years, and financially…for the most part. I’ve got a “career job” and I’m quite honestly crawling out from the debt and lack of savings hole I was in a year ago. Sure I have my mountain of bills per month, but I’ve been able to organize myself a little better where even after all my bills are paid for the month there is enough to put a good chunk into savings as well as live off of, so that’s progress. Not as fast as I’ve wanted it with my plans of moving into an apartment have various numerous times throughout the year due to the circumstances, or people changing their minds, or what have you, but it’s still going smoothly.

Mentally it’s a day on day off thing I guess. I’ve already mentioned about pushing a lot of what’s happened deep down, but it still pops up a lot, more recently a lot in dreams, but that’s something I really think won’t ever go away no matter what along with those feelings so I can’t really do anything about that. But the fact that I’m still able to smile and keep at it from day to day if at least for a while, I guess that’s what is more important.

I’ve made various accomplishments both professionally and personally in various fields the last year and made as well as lost an amount of friends and acquaintances. That’s normal for a year’s progression, so still good there I suppose.

I guess the only other thing that’s changed is my outlook and goal in life in particular. I still don’t know what I’m doing. I used to have such an optimistic view of life and the future that everything will work out somehow someway someday. Now, I still have an optimistic view, just not so much for me. Less of a pessimistic why me view, but more like a apathetic whatever thing. I’ve pretty much resigned to just living life however it comes to me for now and for the foreseeable future. I don’t have plans to “find that all again” or “find my place” really either. I’m just sort of here. I know I currently have plans to try and change jobs for something more prone to what I want to do, but in the meantime I can stay where I’m at for as long as I can stand it and live just fine where I’m at.

This is the usual point where I lose focus in my writing and just sort of trail off. It becomes a sort of pseudo journal entry mixed with a semi less than formal letter. Why though I wonder do I still write like this? I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s that subconscious again trying to write to a much smaller audience in particular that won’t ever see the light of day of this entry who knows. Either way, today is another day I suppose, just like the day before and the day before that. I can sit and daydream of where life would be right now, or where I want it to be all day long but it’s not going to change today and the here and now. It’s just an exercise to write it out from time to time when I feel the need I suppose. That or I’m just a sucker for my own traditions and memories.

Friday, November 18, 2011

And I'll Be Right Here Waiting, Until My Phoenix Rises Up


Lately I haven’t been sleeping well. Ever since I started working at HP I’ve been out like a light based on how tired I am. Every day I wake up to a feeling of uncertainty and slight stress due to the nature of my job. Every day is something new, but at the same time the same kind of stuff. The problem with my job, which I love, is that there is never a real sense of accomplishment. One call may make my day and I totally fix a huge problem, but the next could be a nightmare. The next 3 calls could be equally bad. Every day it starts over and you never know what it is. I’m not very good about those kinds of situations and it causes a bit of stress and nausea every morning but it usually goes away shortly after. That might be part of the not sleeping well, when I remember that the next morning it’s back into the thick of things, but I don’t think so.
No, the real reason I haven’t been sleeping well is on account of the dreams I have. I love to dream. It’s that moment where you come up with crazy abstract things, see familiar faces that you haven’t seen in a long time, and have bizarre adventures all over the place. Sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re bad, but they’re always interesting. Lately however, I’ve been having nothing but nightmares. Well, not nightmares per say, they’re actually really good dreams that I consciously feel great about while I’m having, but the very second that I wake up and realize it was a dream, they become regretful nightmares that make me feel like crap for a good long while afterwards.
Occasionally these dreams are about my dad and things surrounding that. Those aren’t nearly as bad however, especially when they all point to the fact that one phone call and swallowing a lot of pride could solve that situation, but I’m not ready for that. No, the majority of the nightmares I have, and more and more frequently as of late, have to do with Virginia. Sometimes they involve my now perceived idea of her being angry and annoyed with me, other times it’s a hesitant to talk to me personality, but ultimately agreeing to at least speak to me about things often resulting in working out something. Lastly are the ones that happen least of all, but are the sweetest yet most depressing. Those are the ones where she is nothing but the sweet, friendly, and caring person I fell in love with such a long time ago like it was from day one. Those are the dreams that hurt most of all.
I mentioned not too long ago in a conversation with my mom about my well-being, and I really rarely admit this now a days, that I’d still been having dreams about her and I couldn’t figure out why. She pointed out that it’s probably because even though I’ve tried to bury it all down so deep, my subconscious remembers that it was about a year ago now that it all ended. This Sunday to be exact, but whatever. Honestly it didn’t even occur to me. Has it already been an entire year on my own? It’s not been a pleasant one that’s for sure. I’m still reeling from it all and still struggling internally about a lot of things because of it.
Maybe I just needed to write this down to admit to myself out loud I don’t know. I just know that she’s still very much in there and I still very much regret how things ended. There are just some days where after having one of those dreams it leaves me feeling a little broken and lost I suppose. Today is one of those days as was yesterday, but I dunno. I just know that despite all regrets or mistakes on my part or her’s that my feelings haven’t changed and she’s always going to be there deep down somewhere. I can still have that at very least.
Time Is Nothing.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Don't Just Stand There

As I sit here today my brain is being pulled into far too many different directions. Today is my only day off next week with my schedule changing into my more permanent one tomorrow. Tomorrow I begin my job as I was hired to do. After 9 weeks of training and doing work in other areas, I'll finally be taking calls to the specific department and customers that I'm supposed to do. I won't lie to say that I'm not a little nervous because I am, but I often catch myself and just remind myself that to take it one call at a time and that they're calling me for help, not vise versa. Make them work on your time and just do your best. It'll be ok. Now tell myself that tomorrow when I'm alone on the floor because my team is not scheduled over the weekend, but that's another story :)

Last night we had our first band practice after recording the album and it was a nice affirmation that we're all still on board and that even though I've been listening to these songs for the past few weeks track by track they still sound fresh and are fun to play. Things are slowly falling into place regarding this whole ordeal and I'm pretty excited about it. We've got our act together quite a bit better than last time and everything is coming together seemingly all at once, which is really nice. Its still a little bit nerve wracking to wonder if people are going to like our new songs or not, but also the excitement of getting the album done and getting to share it with other people. It baffles me that we're doing this again and recording yet another full length album of entirely new material. Zounds!

We're looking at having the songs mixed at Blue Chair studios, where we recorded our last EP, in a week so that'll be done. After that we're looking into getting the songs mastered out in TN, but we're not sure about it. It mostly comes down to $. Horrible horrible $. I for one am very excited about some of the extra stuff coming on this cd. Not only are there all new songs, a lot of which mean a great deal to me, but we've also got some fantastical guest stars on the cd as well. Mike is making a cameo as always, and we got Garrett Hunter back to record some things specifically for the album unlike the sample we used last time. I'm trying to get my friend Wesley of belair fame to hop on but it sadly doesn't look like its going to happen at this point. What I'm really really excited about however, is that I'm currently working with my good friend Ryan White of Birds of New York (formerly of Resident Hero) to sing some backing vocals on the album. Talk about a dream here.

I mentioned that these songs mean a great deal to me and they do just as all T3 songs have in some form or other. Mostly that they're something I took the time to dribble out from my brain and had talented people make them sound good. Sometimes they have a little bit of my personal life stuffed into them as well. More than half of the T3 songs of the past have dual meanings that really I don't talk about nor are very noticeable unless you know me really well or can figure it out. Like some kind of puzzle. There are less than subtle references to a lot more things in my life in these new songs like I've never dared to put them in before. And they're not the obvious ones either *cough like like letters cough* No, nearly every song on this new album has background in something that has effected me over the last two or so years. They're all still goofy and all have goofy themes and are about something silly. However, at the same time a lot of them have roots in something profound to me as well. Maybe one day I'll divulge those to people, but probably not because then it just makes this music depressing and I don't want that. I just want them to stay fun for everyone :)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Is It Ok To Leave The Past Behind?

It seems quite often that the music of a good friend of mine seems to echo similar struggles in my life that seems to ask the questions for me while I ponder a response. I've been going back and listening a lot to the song 'Vendetta White' by my friend's band Birds of New York and its making me draw a few similar conclusions in life.

According to Ryan, the song is his reaction to the downfall of Resident Hero with all the feelings during the aftermath of being hurt, angry, and moving on. As the song progresses its seems to reflect back on the series of emotions that he went through and the feelings of hope and finally leaving it all behind and looking forward. Lines such as: "I was a battle cry, the dark of black
But the older that I get the less I want it back" and "Is it okay to leave the past behind?
Keep moving forward with your eyes up to the sky" seem to resonate most.

Lately I've done a lot of reflecting on the past. Moments I haven't thought about in a long while that have had profound effects on my life. Moments that I wonder if I've just forgotten about, gotten over, buried away so deep that I've shut them out, I don't know. Not all bad things, just things that don't seem to register to me as real memories anymore, just that they did in fact happen and I don't seem to notice anymore. The whole path of where I've been with this band, when my folks divorced over ten years ago, and the more telling and recent struggles I've had within the last year. Its just a wonder how my brain works sometimes. I know for a fact that when I'm deeply troubled about things I immediately let my mind wander to something else to handle the shock of things, but eventually take it a piece at a time. Other times I just don't think about them at all, letting them sink deep....somewhere. I'm not really sure where. Where do they go? And more importantly will they ever come back up? Or do they go there to die?

The latter is obviously not the case as some things in life that I bury down deep have scarred so badly on the way down that they still are alive and kicking down there somewhere, but the concept of not thinking about them makes the situation all the more strange if and when I do reflect back on them. The prominent players that were once a big deal, be they family, friends, or loved ones tend to become background characters or strangers in general. They take on different roles that I don't quite recognize anymore sadly. And it is sad to think about. I've had best friends in years past that I don't see, keep contact with, nor think about anymore when those days long ago I would spend so much time hanging out with them. Don't even get me started on relationships because those are sadder as is.

The point I'm trying to make here is that question in the title if not a little more, "when is it ok to leave the past behind?" and "when are you able to?" I guess now a days I go from the phrasing that Time is Nothing and everything will come full circle and make right one day to Time Is Everything and that every key moment and key person in your life has their moment or moments then their part is done, like in a play. Once the curtain is drawn down they take their bow and head off stage, never to return. Its sad how life works out that way. Sadder that if you push it down deep enough that you don't even seem to care, even though there is no denying that you are denying and that you do care. So very much.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I've become pretty consistent in messing up things in life so well I should get paid for it.

You Don't Just Eat The Bread...

I think I've done a post like this a number of times already but now as things are getting closer to finally getting under way I guess it makes sense to organize my thoughts a little better.

When I was in high school I started to fantasize about being in a rock band. I always dreamed about what it would be like to write music, perform it, record albums and all that jazz. In 2007 I started to make that happen with Mike. It was a goofy little project that I blew way way out of proportions, but in the long run I think that's what helped make it happen in the first place. When T3 began I had a very clear set of goals in mind that I wanted to accomplish: play a show and record a album. Once we got started it changed from playing one show to playing many shows at specific places, most notably Juanita's. We one by one started to accomplish every goal I had set out to work with and more little ones kept popping up. The goal of making an album came about in fall of 2008 when we recorded and released the full length 'Your Music Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad'. From there the goals were expanded into playing some of the other venues and eventually writing and recording more music. I always wanted to do a follow up album, but it seemed like that was a distant goal that wasn't going to accomplish, so it kept getting put on the back burner. We played nearly every major venue in Arkansas and even recorded in a real studio. Seemingly all goals were met. Then what?

We took time off, I debated on ending it here and there, gave up a few times, and even finally decided to call it a day when other priorities became more important to me. Then things changed again and T3 started up again although slowly and kind like we had a gimpy leg. This time I made sure to prioritize a bit differently and just control what I could instead of attempting to corral every possibility. If we couldn't get booked, we would write music. And write is just what we did. I at first purposely didn't book any shows, then booked sparingly over time. After lots of thought and work and everything out the idea of a second album became my distant dream, then my obtainable goal, and finally its right on the doorstep and there is so much work to do.

Putting out an album in general is a lot of hard work. You have to consider a lot of aspects that you wouldn't think about: how are you going to release it, track list, album artwork, what songs to include and what songs to drop, etc etc. A big factor is the wondering if people will even like it. We are entering into the new phase territory where we'll be judged based on our original album by comparison. People will now either like it or dont like it, prefer one over the other, or possibly point out growth or new direction. Its scary stuff. The writing for this album is the most different way we've every done it too. The first batch of songs were written by a large variety of people over time, but never as a full band. Not a single song on the first album was written by the same people in the same place at the same time. They were all done in phases. The only recorded song that we have that was done that way is Momma's Boy. We are now a 5 piece. Even though that's been the case for the last two years, with the exception of that one song, none of the music was written with our current lineup in completion. Its all a different sound so to speak and a whole new beast I suppose.

Time will tell how it stacks up and if it will be generally well received or rejected by the folks who listen to it. We've played a handful of the new tracks live, but never have really gotten too much feedback on the songs in general, just in minor cases. All I know, is that we as a band enjoy them and have had fun with them and think and feel that other people will too. At least we hope anyway.

We're set up to start recording over labor day weekend and that'll be that. Mixing and mastering over time after that and we'll probably see a release in October sometime. Meanwhile I'm working on a part 2 of the story of T3 documentary as well as a making of the album dvd to package with the album. Not to mention that as soon as we start mixing some of these tracks it'll be time to make some music videos. Lots of work ahead of us, but the good kind of work. The kind that sees results and a finished project. My kind of work.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

On Birthdays

I've had the biggest amount of writers block for this blog as of late. There have been so many topics that I wanted to write about, but just never did so for one reason or another. I think that's a pretty universal feeling at the moment in general. I'm not sure if its fatigue or frustration or whatever, but I haven't felt like completing hardly anything in the last month or so. There's a general feeling that comes around when August rolls around, at least in the last few months anyway.

In the past its been the end of summer and the start of school, or in college the end of school and the beginning of my summer/fall run. Since I'm out of school now it seems like the seasons and months are just going to blend together in a big wad of some sorts. My eight weeks of training at HP are almost up and we'll be hitting the floor taking live calls in a few weeks. That both exciting and terrifying to say the least. There are days where I think "I've got this" and others where I sit and wonder just what in the hell I'm doing there. Whatever. In the meantime I'm building up my savings slowly and its giving me something to do so I can't complain.

On the side I'm creating a variety of video projects that I'm not exactly being hired for, but I'm still doing so that can work towards my own portfolio. Things from documentaries to dvds to music videos and promotional pieces. Its exciting to self teach myself a lot of this stuff because the technology is available like never before and pretty affordable if you know what to do look for as well. I was told the other day that a friend of mine is going to help sell me a really professional HD camera with a lighting kit and tripod for relatively cheap in the next few months and I can't wait to get my hands on it. Hopefully, just hopefully I can find a destination either within HP to move into so I can work on video or find a job elsewhere in the near future to be able to put these skills to use. I enjoy my job don't get me wrong, but there is still that feeling of wasting my time a little or of not completely feeling fulfilled in what I'm doing. Working on film and projects of the sort do that, which is probably why I went to school for it. I just need an outlet. But of course I also need money so that's where I'm at for now.

My birthday is this Saturday and just like the past ten years or so I don't really care all that much. I get the same questions I do every year of "what do you want for your birthday" or "what would you like to do". Honestly, its just like any normal day for me really. Sure, internally I do a lot of thinking and reflecting on that day, but for all intensive purposes I don't really separate it as a special day anymore. I'm usually in school or work or some other thing that day anyway and its just a normal day. I don't really like doing anything on those days either. Maybe it feels extra weird this year because last year I kept making the comparison of "the last time I'll do this on my own" or whatever. It was fully formed in my head that this week (today through Saturday) was going to be the birthday spectacular week with another special day in mid week. Beginning and ending with birthday and all sorts of excitement in between. Well that's not really the case and I don't really care anymore, but the thought does pop up from time to time. Oh well.

Now the thing I'm excited about is coming next week, but I'll save the bulk of that for another blog. We're going to record a new full length album and that's always an exhausting, stressful, yet rewarding, and really fun undertaking. Its been a long month and I think I'm ready for it to be done already. It just seems strange to me how streamlined this year has gone and how quickly it has passed on. Before I know it the year will be over and 2012 will be upon us. Strange how time works huh?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

So its currently Saturday and I'm done with my first week of my new job at HP. Its crazy how fast this week went and how much has gone on during it. I'll be honest to say its a daily battle to convince myself otherwise that its not a crappy job. It is in fact a career job, just not necessarily what I went to school for, nor something I want to do with the rest of my life. I am however starting to consider that if I can eventually transfer to the right department, if one such exists, that I could see myself staying with this company for the rest of my life. HP thus far is fantastic! Of course its only been my first week of 8 weeks in intensive training, but I'm starting to think that while yes they mean serious business in some areas such as attendance and expecting you to do a great job, it is a pretty laid back environment full of honest to goodness happy people.

I have been put into the PSG team which deals exclusively with Desktop and notebook computers. There is a small chance I could end up in the specialty team that deals exclusively with the more higher end performance gaming computers, but honestly I don't really want to. Sure its more narrowed down and focused, not to mention a smaller team and bigger pay raise, but I seem to have lucked out with the team that I'm currently on by getting one of the most desired schedules in the company. That being a schedule that's Monday-Friday 8-5, which is also the one I currently have during my 8 weeks of training. So hopefully nothing changes and that can stay the same. That was one of my biggest desires coming into this job among many reasons, a steady schedule and preferably a normal "adult/real job" schedule and it looks like I lucked out to get it and not one of the crazy noon to 8pm shifts or anything like that. So thats that for the moment.

Everything else suddenly has come to a halt as pretty much all of my time now is going to work and sleeping. On the other front with T3 related things, each practice brings us closer and closer to recording our new full length album hopefully middle of next month if not in September, but it is happening. We've written a lot of new material that we all seem to enjoy a lot and we hope other people do as well. We're also in the process of booking again to get these new tunes out there. I had a phonec all with a gentlemen earlier this week who is putting together a Veteran's day benefit concert that we might be playing at. In Barton Coliseum. T3 just might be playing an arena show before the year is over. That's ridiculous and I don't believe it. I might be playing my stupid songs I wrote in my room with my band that I started in my mom's house 4 years ago in a 10,000 person capacity Coliseum. Whether or not it happens, the fact that its a possibility boggles my brain and makes me laugh out loud quite a bit.

Life is funny sometimes.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Nothing like a non amount of sleep when you have dreams that don't help your mood any.

Its been far too long now for these things to still have an effect on me as they do. Its too bad that they mirror my own feelings tho. Feelings best left behind, not that I can control that tho.

Oh well..... got another possible job offer yesterday that may or may not happen in the next few months depending on if their approval goes through. This time right in my field of producing video for a cooking show for a friend of mine. That's pretty exciting, but I'll still stick to what I've got for now and just lay low until things pan out. I'll cross my fingers that I could either work both and be mega busy, or that it would be enough work for a full time position. That would just be fantastical to finally say hey I have a full time job doing what I went to college for. Not just slightly what I went to college for.

We'll see.

Friday, July 1, 2011

I Hate My Job

So as of right now, well about twelve or so hour ago anyway, I am unemployed.

Oh wait... no I'm not :) Instead I just quit what will hopefully be the last crap job I ever have in my life. In two weeks time I'm starting a new job here in town that I like to be proud to say is a big boy job. Not exactly what I was looking for and not exactly what I went to school for, but its got room for growth and advancement and hey if I like it as much as everybody talks it up, its a company I could stick with for the rest of my life. Not the department I'm in no. I can't imagine doing that for more than a year or so, but like I said, big company places to go. And somewhere out there is a department for exactly what I went to school for and could be my big ticket. Lets cross our fingers that this doesn't explode on me.

In the meantime I've got two weeks to get everything settled around here and do all that I've been meaning to do for a long time such as clean out the garage and what not. And sleep. You can't forget the beautiful beautiful sleep that I'll have :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Believer

(I tried playing this one earlier today, but I can't remember the chords for it. Again an old one, but I still like it. Not at T3 song by a long shot.)

Good morning, it’s nice to see you again

How long has it been? Far too long for me

I wish I could just pretend this isn’t the end

That our lives are still the same

I want you to stay

I want you to believe

The thoughts of yesterday

Slowly fade to gray

I’ll never change

The memories, bittersweet in my mind

They show a better life gone by

I know today is a new day full of change

Ill never be the same

I want you to stay

I want you to believe

The thoughts of yesterday

Slowly fade to gray

I’ll never change

I want you to stay

I need you to believe

And the battles we have fought together

Won’t ever fade away

Today is a new day, bright and gray

Have you forgotten what we’ve been through?

The promises we made may have been broken

But I’ll still hold them the same

I want you to stay

I need you to believe

The thoughts of yesterday

I hold up high today

Oh please wont you to stay

I choose to still believe

The battles we have fought together

Were never fought in vain

I’ll always be the same

Excuses, Excuses

(an old one but one of my favs)
You wake up in the morning

Think it’s a brand new day

Nothing could go wrong now

Nothing stands in your way

You won’t see us coming, so you best start your running

You hear a knock at the door

Walk and smile now gleamin

Slowly pull it open

Bout to start the screamin

You wont see it comin, Too late to start runnin

Cuz we’re zombies….oooooo

Brains brains brains brains

Tasty little

Brains brains brains brains

Wanna eat yo

Brains brains brains brains…..

You start to hear the sirens

There’s nothing to be done

Don’t you start to panic

It ruins all our fun

You never saw it commin, on the tv its been running

Cities reduced to rubble

No more power to see

The horde is now growin

In small groups you now flee

No matter where you look now

We won’t be far behind

Groups dwindle down to nothing

And we won’t be so kind

The end of the world is coming, No more time for yo lovin

Now you see the situation

Why I won’t sit n cuddle

Time is now a waistin

Go ahead in this put your faith in

What I’ve said it is true, That’s why I won’t call you