This is the first year in a long long time that it really hasn't felt like Christmas. I did my shopping quite early this year and got it all taken care of weeks ago. I've kept myself busy as much as possible as my only goal over the last month has been to not stop even for a second if possible. Its not, and when I do then I start to remember things, but that's beside the point.
There are things I'd like to distract my brain from like how I'm only three hours away from someone currently and how if all was back to normal I'd see them in two days, lest we mention that I was geared up to this being the last christmas on my own, but oh well.
The point is, I'm technically 16 minutes away from Christmas as I type this and it doesn't feel that way. Its the same scenario as always: family in town, decorations, games together, etc. But all in all, it feels empty as it has been and as it will for awhile.
When I wake up tomorrow morning sure I'll put on a smile and I'm sure I will enjoy the gifts that I receive, but honestly there is only one thing I want for Christmas and its something that I'm never going to get.
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