There have been many questions on my mind in the past few months revolving around life, how to get through it, as well as many other personal things of which a lot of people now know about. The latter has caused me to reflect a question I heard a lot during this time and one I too began to ask myself: “what is love?” A lot of people have answers for this and a lot of people have experiences in this. There are so many definitions and so many ways to talk about it, experience it, as well as feel it, but what is it? It’s a strong emotional attachment to someone or something that affects just about every aspect of your life. That alone sounds like mind control or some disease, but I guess its kind of true. Love is a disease, but I don’t mean that in a negative way, but more like a biological one. When you are “infected” by a disease it multiplies and spreads throughout your body and depending on what its particular course is it takes effect on that part of the body whether it is your sinuses with a cold or perhaps your stomach when you have the flu. Love affects every part of your body however and once you latch onto it, its all round about inside you.
There are many kinds of love: paternal love, platonic love, love of something in particular like an activity of some sort, and of course romantic love. The question begs to differ of what is the definition of real love? Can one be made? I have no idea as everyone seems to have a different opinion. Lately it’s what has been on my mind and reflection on the past and the present as well as the future to determine that for myself. So here’s what it means to me.
In my life I’m pretty sure I’ve only been in love once. Once upon a time I thought I was in love, but in the end it was a really strong feeling, but only later on did I realize that it was not love. That being said I have been in love, you could say I still am, but that’s a whole other topic that I don’t need to rehash or harass anyone with right now until I set myself straight on it anyway, but I have felt it before. Before I did, I felt what I thought was love, it was the strongest I had ever felt such a feeling for another human being other than in a completely platonic or family sort of love. It was a genuine feeling of wanting to be with another person, one in particular, and spend time with them. We’ve all felt that and we have many words for it, but we all get that way from time to time when we draw close to someone special. The thing is, while there was strong feelings and the desire to do everything possible and be a part of every aspect, the drive and execution was not there. It could have been, but it wasn’t and that’s ok. We all have to start somewhere and build into things at our own pace. It wasn’t until my most recent relationship that I learned, in my opinion, what true love really is.
Love is an infinite amount of patience no matter what. Love is respect and consideration for someone else’s feelings. Love is willing to do virtually anything for them at any given moment no matter what your current physical or mental state is. Love is the feeling of just sitting together for hours not moving or speaking and still having a wonderful time. Love is seeing that person and getting a warm feeling in your heart to know that they are something special. Love is sacrifice of letting go of things that don’t help you move along and be closer to that person and Love is getting acquainted to what they like and want to do and attempt to not become a copy of them, but attempt to make it your own because it is important to them. Love is understanding why it is important to them and willingly wanting to be a part of it. Love is taking time out of your day to plan out things to surprise someone at any given time with something that reminds them of how special they are to you. Love is waking up and saying hello and good morning. Love is saying goodnight and I love you before going to sleep. Love is having that person on your mind when you wake up and the last thing on your mind when you fall asleep. Love is being genuinely worried about their problems over your own. Love is a series of tight hugs that last just a few seconds longer than you thought, but appreciate it for the extra moments. Love is never letting your eyes wander to someone else even for a minute. Love is singular to that special someone. Love is wanting to be a better person. Love is wanting to share as well as listen to everything they have to say. Love is no expectations, only understandings. Love is being sneaky and finding out what they want and getting it for them without notice. Love is smiles. Love is never wanting to be apart. Love is wanting to share and experience life together. Love is not changing your life for theirs, but reshaping your own to include them and their dreams. Love is always sharing your dreams. Love is apologizing when you are wrong. Love is strength beyond your own. Love is hope. Love is faith. Love is determination to provide. Love is holding it in your heart even if it finds itself lost. Love is all of these things together, not just a few but all of them and probably a lot more.
Love is everything.
Perhaps we have all felt love at some point or another and lost it. That’s also another part of love. I believe that once we feel love, not just partial love, but full and true love, it never dies within us. No matter how a relationship ends, or perhaps a loved one passes away, or love is lost in a bitter and loveless fight. Love is still there. You cannot get rid of it no matter what. It might not be as strong anymore or you might not act on it quite as well. The name of that person might grind your gears and cause other emotions, but there is a part of you somewhere that still feels that love burn. Love is an eternal flame and it never dies.
This is the lesson that I’ve learned about what love is. This is what I have felt and maybe it’s different for you, but for the first time in my life I can say without hesitation that I have felt love and it feels good, wonderful even. Anyone who hasn’t experienced love, well, just hang in there. I believe that we will all feel love, true love, in this life at least once. Maybe it will work out for us and maybe it won’t. After having felt love and knowing it I guess the old saying is true “Tis better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.” Which brings me to one of mine: Love is hope. For me, love is still there and I still believe that love never dies. It will always be there until the end of time. Maybe I’ll just sit and wait for a little bit to think on it all. Maybe I’ll just let it dim down over time and never put any more logs on that fire for as long as I live, life is not definite and you can’t tell the future. But one this is for certain, that love will always be there for as long as I live and while its there, there is always hope.
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