But I Won't

This week was the first time I’ve had more than one day off in a row in a long long while. It’s been pretty nice seeing that only one day off at a time never seems to be enough time. I’m not really sure why, it just doesn’t. Then again, waking up this morning was weird as I thought I had to go to work but was pleasantly reminded that I didn’t. Tomorrow is going to not have the same effect tho I’m sure.
As with any extended periods of time to myself, I think. A lot. A whole lot. Thankfully these thinking periods don’t leave me in a quivering mass on my bed anymore, well not as much anyway. This time I was thinking about news from a friend of mine that I had suspected for a bit, but never really got confirmation of till now. She had apparently reconciled with her ex boyfriend and it appears that they’ll be getting back together in some form or fashion pretty soon, if not already. That’s great for them, it really is. At first it was a bit of disappointment as well as maybe a bit of petty jealousy but it dawns on me that its not my story they are involved with, even if I kind of wanted it to be. That’s how it goes sometimes, no matter what moments you share with someone or how you think something may or may not go. You can’t really see that far ahead in life and sometimes you just can’t predict what will happen next, which leads me to what I was thinking about today.
I don’t seem to think about the far off future anymore even though I should. I went to a job fair yesterday and as I was looking around it occurred to me that I wasn’t just looking for a decent job, but I was looking for a job that I would be at for years to come, not a defined period of time, but just time. The time of here a little there a little is over and now it’s a more long term commitment sort of deal. Everything in my life should be gearing to that these days honestly. A friend of mine commented on his relationship with his girlfriend not too long ago saying “I’m not breaking out rings yet, but we’re getting to that age where its time to start looking more long term and not just for today and tomorrow anymore”. That’s pretty true. While we all don’t have any reason to settle in one routine at the moment or a stay put relationship, job, or place to live we do need to start thinking more long term. Maybe more thinking about years instead of months or weeks. Its just weird to me that I’ve stopped or maybe never started to do that. I know the reason why, but I don’t get why I’m still doing it.
Perhaps it’s the not really attempting to move on with my life completely kind of deal. Maybe its fear or maybe its just plain lazyness. Who knows. I mean sure I’ve taken little steps, been job hunting, there have been girls since then although nothing really serious, and have been making long term/short term plans to get me on track but I’m still doddling. Or maybe I’m not and its one of those stuck in the moment and can’t tell how far or fast you’re moving kind of deals. Life is full of those kinds of things.

So instead of thinking about them all, I played with my bass yesterday for the first time in awhile. Good ole Ren, you are a sexy sexy lady in my hands.