So I had to take a minute while I was at work to recompose myself this morning. Life is really a bitch when it interferes during the work day. I sat and pondered the last half a year or so since this downhill spiral seemed to start and wondered when that curve is going to kick back up.
For the first time in my life, I compared myself to math. Scary huh? This morning made me think about those line graphs you would do in algebra class. Most of the time when you are plotting points and connecting them the line starts in one quadrant and continues on a curve in one direction. There are other kinds that go back in the opposite direction or instead of continuing in the original path they curve upwards or downwards, in other words there are a ton of them and they make my brain hurt. Which is probably why I took that math class in college three times before I passed it but that's another matter.
I consider 2010 to be a very linear graph, with minor curves in it, not unlike one of those machines that charts out earthquake activity making it rapidly shoot from one direction to the other, but eventually this graph does continue onto its path in the same place it started. 2010 started out as honest to goodness the best year of my life. Everything was finally in place and I mean everything. So that starts out in quadrant two of the graph. You know the upper left hand one. So high note yeah. You can't see the future, so if everything is going great you only assume that its starting at that one point and continuing to the right into quad one right? Well with those ups and downs it still seemed like it was headed in the right direction. By the end of the year I see yes, it was a linear year, but it was heading into a diagonal straight for number 4, the bottom right hand corner.
So yes time is never ending and well just because we change over from one year to another doesn't really mean that we are starting over. Just calenders and to some extent money seasons and all that crap, but we're still where we're at. However, with that if we ended the year in quad 4, we start the year in quad 4 right? Well coupled with that new year optimism that we all seem to have, its like plotting new points and changing the trajectory of the line, essentially starting a new one, even though you really can't start a new line for real, just like you can't just start a new life, only change direction.
This early in the game I wonder what kind of line I'm making this year. I'm crossing my fingers for Exponential, or that upper curve that starts at the bottom and heads upwards and to the right. Hell I'd even settle for Quadratic, the one that dips but as it progresses it ends up higher than the origin point in most cases or at every least the same place where it started only in another quad. Although that would be cause of going deeper than you already are and I'm not sure I can handle that at all. Or maybe 2010 and 2011 are part of a quad line and I'm just at that bottom swell, very very slowly climbing back into 1? I don't know and I won't know until enough time passes that you can look back. Time is funny that way. We see all the answers after we've experienced everything even though we really don't want them then, we want them first. But that ruins the experience doesn't it? Although looking back does reveal the things we've missed a lot of times, but that's a whole different story.
That's what I thought about this morning. It makes sense to me, maybe not you. And I'm sure most of those terms were wrong, but hey what do I know? I flunked college algebra a couple of times, so obviously I didn't get it right the first time.
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