I don't know what it is about music that just takes me somewhere else. Sure I can do that when I listen to music in headphones, or at a concert or whatever, but playing my own music and music with my friends just takes me somewhere far far away where everything just clicks like I feel it should in my life. I haven't felt this way in a long long time and every time I get together with one of the handful of groups I play music with on a regular basis it just does it. I'm getting more confident in my playing and singing abilities and it just helps me to vent out the things I feel and didn't know I felt, both good and bad.
Sure it doesn't make life completely better and when its all over and the glow wears off, I still sit here in the dark and feel a bit lonely or sad and still miss who I've lost, but at least in that moment I feel kind of whole again. Maybe one day I'll find something more permanent to be able to feel like that again. I still sit here with the same feelings I've always felt, no anger, no distaste, only mild regret, still missing, still loving, some days are better than others, but its nice to know that I have friends who are that safety net and help out when needs be.
Still as I sit up late at night I sit here and wonder the "what ifs" and "still maybes" that I know I shouldn't, but thats what dreams are for my friends. Thats what dreams are for and they can never be taken away from me.
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