To make things easier to organize in my life I've always seemed to group certain experiences and instances together based on whatever reasoning I find important at the time. Being a big believer 'everything happens for a reason' is a massive supporter of this little jaunt. Although that personal belief has really been shaken to the core in the last few months, I guess although weaker at the moment, I still believe it to be true. But mostly what I've been interested in reflecting on lately is a sense of timing.
I don't believe in luck nor dumb luck or any kind of luck at all. I also don't believe in coincidences, although it is pretty close to what happens I think. In the last ten years or so I can connect things that I've experienced in my life like a chain of events and memories that all seem to lead together to an inevitable end of some sort where things culminate into something great or fizzle out, or rather they never end I suppose. They just drop most of the details and linger on just a bit into another occurrence as if just to push it along a little further.
A few events in particular I look at for example seem to have merged together to create a sense of good timing that is all together weird to me that honestly I believed that chain had ended, but apparently it still goes on.
For example: I formed T3 in early 2007 and it intertwined through my life over the past few years and served not only as a boost of confidence, a way of making a lot of new friends, but to help support me through difficult times. Its been that anchor and rock that has helped me keep my sanity over the last 4 years. Even if nothing more grows from it than already has, to me on a personal level its been that steady constant in my life that I can always depend on. That one tiny thing that I can always control even if I can't control my life around it. In late 2007 I started into a pretty serious relationship that blossomed and grew along the same lines and time that T3 did. Then when it ended and other things happened T3 just happened to pick up when the other fell through and cushioned the fall. Those events from that relationship helped T3 grow and while I grew from that and made it get better, timing dictated I went back to school even though I swore that I never would. There's more to this, but I'm not about details right now, just trust me it makes sense to me.
Back up at school it was mentioning T3 at the right time and place that happened to land into the next step of my life and a much more important one, where T3 then took a backseat. Then when I made dumb decisions and the important role fell back, T3 stepped in and grew some more taking me along with it, helping me to realize a lot of things I should have all along, then thankfully switched positions again by the end of the year. Then again when things fizzled out in such an abrupt position, even though I had pretty much laid T3 to rest completely or was just about to more being said, it was there to cushion me once again.
Now that I'm reading this here its less of timing and more like what has been a back and forth sort of events, but the timing thing can't really be described without the extra details that I don't wish to talk about. But the important thing is, timing is everything. Timing made all of these good things happen over the last few years even when things like that should not have happened ever, in about every case. My life seems to be a series of good timing, not luck, but timing. Everything has happened to fall into place at the very last second making the chain of events seem to just fit like they were always meant to be. What I'm discovering now is that where I thought that story, that chain was ending, apparently was not and while its not the story path I would have chosen it goes on and just like the occasional movie that I think I had figured out but was wrong, I was wrong here and can only imagine what will happen in the future.
Timing at the moment seems impossible as there are so many things against it in one category, yet seeming like they might be about to fall into place for another. Can you guess which one? I sure can't and its really bugging me to be honest.
No comments:
Post a Comment