Thursday, March 3, 2011

You Can Be Your Own Spotlight

Today is a beautiful day outside and I feel pretty alright. I have most of the week to be honest. I'm not sure why tho, its just been happening. I think honest to goodness peace from this whole situation is finally starting to settle in a little. Its not completely ok, but its getting there. That being said, I'm still bummed about being rejected, forgotten, ignored, hated, and replaced but that's how it goes anyway. I'm doing my best to not think about it anymore, and say to that little beating organ in my chest "hey, cool it for now. We both know what you want, but you're driving me nuts. Lets just relax for awhile".

In the meantime I was sitting and thinking the other day about where I am in life. At our show last weekend I came face to face with a girl I went to high school with. It made me think about the time since high school and what all I've accomplished or not accomplished since then. My ten year reunion is next year and its been making me curious as to where I'll be in one year's time. The idea of thinking slightly ahead like that isn't new to me, especially in the last few months but its made me think.

What is the norm of ten years out of high school? I don't really know, but if I were to make an assumption I think it would be something like this:
-go to college, graduate, get a 2 or 4 year degree
-get a career oriented job and you know... work at it
-get married and/or have kids
-be an adult

That's a shitty list I know, I don't really know what "normal" is supposed to be to be honest. But thats only because my life since high school has been anything but normal. Here's my mini checklist from then till now. My track record if you will:
-worked odd jobs to get by
-went to and dropped out of college on 3 separate occasions before getting my degree
-dated um... 3 maybe 4 different people in actual relationships over the last ten years. (is that it honestly? Well I just suck at that)
-briefly was engaged, then dumped in a pretty awful and sudden matter
-traveled all across the county many many times
-studied, learned, and became fluent in Spanish
-lived in Mexico for 2 years
-during those two years I performed service, taught the gospel, helped homeless people, and lots and lots of other things and had an innumerable amount of experiences that could fill books
-fulfilled my dream of forming a band that eventually did take off and am currently performing, recording, and just having fun with
-met so very many good friends and people as well as lost a lot as well
and other junk, but I guess those are the big ones

I don't care what the people I went to high school have accomplished, I may not have hardly any of the "real things" done in life yet, but I don't care. I've led a pretty fulfilling life with a wide spectrum of success, failure, happiness and sadness and its all mine.

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