Feigning Fatigue

While I was doing mindless tasks at work today I was trying to think up a reason why I'm doing the things I'm doing with my life currently. So long I've been making excuses for myself, my behavior, and most of all my complacency of where I'm at in the current moment, that I sometimes remember why I'm living in the first place. I blamed it this morning on being tired in general, most likely because at the moment I was just physically tired as I am right now which is probably why it reminded me.

I think its a generally universal trait we all have at some points in our lives. We tend to get comfortable where we are and while we might be in a good place or a bad place, we're just ok how things are. Its any wonder anybody ever gets anything done in life because of how easy it is to get in a habit or in a trend of living that we don't strive for anything better.

Lately that's what has been on my mind, what is it that I want anymore? I'm still not sure of the answer, but at least I'm recognizing that where I'm at is not where I want to be. People in general are lazy. We always tend to just drift towards the easiest option in life that makes it more of a comfortable ride. However we sit back and enjoy the little things in life that were made possible because somebody out there didn't do that. Ironic isn't it? Inventions, advances in technology, music, movies, just about everything in life is somebody's accomplishment. Its somebody standing up and saying hey, I'm not ok with just kicking my feet up and relaxing. If we want to accomplish anything in life or make a name for ourselves we just have to do it. No sitting and thinking about it, just get up and do it. Ok well, yeah you have to think about it, but honestly you can make a tiny plan then think up the rest as you go along. You adjust your plans as you walk according to the situation and surroundings you're in.

I don't know what inspired this today, maybe its just my feeble attempt to get back into writing in this blog, or anything for that matter. I'm still having the hardest time being motivated to do anything. I'm drifting, slowly towards a semi goal I've come up with, but instead of drifting I should just get out of the raft and hike it the rest of the way. It'll feel more worth it that way. And hey, today provided one of those little footholds that might help speed up the process, but who knows. I dunno. I think first on my list even before other changes is to change my sleeping habits just a little. I'm currently getting the minimal sleep for work, which is ok since my job doesn't require the biggest amount of brain power, but it might help me be more active after I get off work. At least I cut out naps all together. Shock and awe! But hey, you do what you have to do in order to get some work done right? Now if I'd just get on getting that work done I'd be all set. :)