I’d Never Thought I’d Say This, Or It’s Just The Loneliness

So according to my dashboard thingy this is blog #100. Hooray?

I dunno, I think it would mean more to me if I would have stuck to the original intention of this blog and keeping it about non personal topics or just opinions or reviews or something. But sadly it just became the downward spiral of me venting my frustrations and depressing junk for the last 6 months or so. I'm on track to fix that, but its anybodies game at this point. I suppose now is as a good time as any to do another look back and see where I am with my life and evaluate how far I've come since the last time I did this, which I also don't remember to be honest.

-I am 26 years old a college graduate and I currently live at home.
-I work in a bakery while I'm slowly but surely applying to various career oriented jobs around the state. Pretty soon I'm going to just straight up branch out of the state and go to wherever it takes me. At this point and after so many months of looking around I'm willing to bet that when that job finally does come, whatever it is, it'll be somewhere that is not in Arkansas and I'm both ok and not ok with that.
-I've had many a heart to heart with various people and its amazing that once you bow out of so many activities and situations how different the world looks and the people you have surrounded yourself with. I'm much more aware of people's personalities and actual amounts of "who gives a damn" from a lot of people these days, which makes the idea of moving away from my hometown not feel so bad when it eventually happens. It will for the sake of those whom I'll really miss, but for the others ehh... not so much anymore.
-The elapsed course of what would originally be the end of my single life and the start of married life has come and gone and surprisingly its gotten easier from a few days before that till now. Maybe its finally out of my system for the most part. Not completely of course, but an acceptance although reluctant. The feelings are still there and always will be, but I think I've dusted myself off and licked my wounds enough that I can get back on the horse now. Well, life anyway, not so much other things but whatever. The point is, although I haven't had that void of a hole filled with anything else yet, but at least its not a gaping wound anymore. Its just empty.
-My days variate from happy to a little distant and reluctant, but mostly doing alright these days. Today is one of those, I feel a bit misplaced and alone days but I am the master of my own destiny so if I don't want to feel that way maybe I should go find something to do. And now I can honestly say I'm doing that, just every once in awhile I stop for a minute before keeping on keeping on.
-I've made a few very good friends, lost a few, am in the process of loosing a few others, and have had to make realizations and choices that aren't pleasant to have to deal with. In the long run its just another bumpy path in the road, but I'm not dead yet and now nor do I wish I was so, experience it. Yeah.
-I'm still gearing up to move out in the near future, just some minor financial setbacks have stepped in the way, but now I think I'm doing it for the right reason, not just on a whim because I thought it might help anything.
-Long talks I've had with important people have helped settle the dust and made things better.
-short talks with others have made reality a crappy thing to understand but I do understand it. Oh well, it was a pipe dream anyway.

In short, life is going on at the moment and I'm working on it. I don't know where/when/why or any of the other questions about who I am or where I'm going at the moment, but until I figure that out here I am world. Here I am.